


Risian Fashion

by larosesombre



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Grumpy Leonard "Bones" McCoy, M/M, Risa - Freeform, Romantic Fluff, Shirtless Kirk, Shopping, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larosesombre/pseuds/larosesombre
Summary: When Bones gets tricked into prescribing shore leave for himself, Jim and Spock, Jim decides that he'll give the doctor a taste of his own medicine. If Bones wants a vacation, he'll get one, though it may not be quite what he expects. Jim drags an unenthusiastic Bones and Spock on a shopping trip, and they all experience first hand the revealing nature of Risian fashion.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Risian Fashion

It had taken a great effort for Lt. Uhura to convince the senior officers to take shore leave. The Captain, his second in command, and the ship’s CMO were all horribly stubborn, and it wasn’t until she had appealed to Bones to prescribe a rest for everyone’s health that she had been able to get them to go ashore. When Uhura had suggested that it be mandatory for Kirk and Spock to take leave, given their stressful jobs, she had been able to convince him to force the others off the ship and to go along to “supervise”. No one could ever accuse her of being a disloyal member of the crew. Nyota Uhura went above and beyond in her service to the Captain. Even if she had to trick the CMO in order to do it.

Bones realized he had been played at the exact moment that Scotty beamed them down to the planet’s surface. By then it was far too late to do or say anything, so he had found himself on an unknown planet with Jim and Spock, rather too embarrassed to explain that he had been coerced into it. He resigned himself to make the best of the trip. A rest probably would be good for them all. 

They had beamed down onto the surface of Risa, an M class planet that was famed for its luxurious resorts. The planet’s inhabitants moved with purpose, leisurely passing by the three men as they materialized in what appeared to be a town square. Around them, stretching back for quite a distance were brightly coloured shop fronts, tables hung with beautiful cloth and windows filled with cakes and trinkets. Behind him, Bones heard Spock say drily, “I wasn’t aware we were on a shopping excursion.”

Jim didn’t appear to hear him. “Well, Bones,” He said, smiling slightly. “If we’ve got to take shore leave, we’ve got to take shore leave. Now that we’re on the pleasure planet, we might as well make the most of it.” He set off with disgusting enthusiasm. Bones trailed behind, rather wishing he could beam back up to the ship to shake some sense into Lt. Uhura.

Jim led them around at a quick pace. “The first thing we’ll need,” He said cheerfully. “Is vacation clothes. I don’t intend to walk around this planet in a uniform!”

“Captain, is that an attempt at humour?” Spock inquired. “I intend to make this a brief stay, surely remaining in our uniforms is only logical.”

“Nonsense. Bones prescribed a vacation, so a vacation he shall get. We’re going to purchase the latest Risian fashions for our stay. Low cut and tight-fitting.” Kirk hurried off towards the nearest shop, dragging them after him.

“I’m sorry.” Bones whispered to Spock as they entered the store. Every rack was covered in scandalously designed items. One particular one that Jim grabbed off its hook and handed to Spock looked like nothing more than a piece of string on a hanger. “Truly. I wasn’t expecting…” He trailed off, waving his hand towards Jim who had an armful of tiny pairs of shorts. 

“This whole thing is utterly illogical,” Spock muttered, allowing Jim to shove him into a changing room. Bones found himself agreeing with the Vulcan for once. Especially when he emerged from the stall, blushing green and wearing a low cut shirt and loose, knee-length shorts. Bones would have accused him of embarrassment if that hadn’t been a Human emotion. 

“Captain, I must protest.” Spock began, “I don’t-”

“You’ll wear it. Captain’s orders.” Kirk said, scandalously tracing a finger around the neckline before turning to Bones. “Now you…”

Bones coughed, scanning the shelves for anything that might save him. There were a normal-looking tunic and flowing pants in sight. He grabbed for them wildly. “What about this?” He asked, waving it at Jim in a frantic attempt to thwart whatever he was up to. 

“That’s not exciting enough, Bones!” Jim said, grinning almost sinisterly as he spotted another outfit behind Spock. “I think that one will suit you.”

It was the same thing that Bones was holding but in a putrid arrangement of bright coloured paisley. Bones took it reluctantly. Asking to go back to the ship would reveal that he’d been tricked into suggesting this nightmarish vacation in the first place. He’d have to put the outfit on. 

When Bones emerged from his changing room, the first thing he spotted was Kirk. The captain had changed too, and he was wearing tight shorts and a flowing, open shirt. Bones forgot all about his own horrible outfit as he stared distractedly at Jim’s chest. He allowed himself to be led over to the counter to pay, and he somehow ended up paying out of his own pocket when Jim claimed that he’d left his money onboard the Enterprise. Maybe if Bones had been able to see more than Jim’s abs he would have been able to think for himself, but even Spock appeared to be under their spell, trailing after Jim out of the shop without another complaint about his outfit. 

The next shop that Jim dragged them into was a store selling PADD programs. Books, mainly. Jim had grabbed a handful of Earth novels and then had started needling Spock to recommend a Vulcan work. Spock, who was still rather entranced by Jim’s shirt situation, managed to tell him that the works of Dr. Abs were a fascinating read. The Freudian slip was almost too much for Bones who had to excuse himself from the shop to recover. While outside, he caught sight of his outfit reflected in the shop window and thought again of what he intended to do with Uhura when he got back up to the ship. Let’s see how she liked taking a vacation with a bunch of idiots! He’d send her down with Chekov and Riley.

Bones wound his way back into the shop and watched in amusement as Spock paid for the books, none of which were by the mysterious Dr. Abs. They all left, Jim in the lead again, with Spock trailing behind carrying his purchases. “I’m holding you accountable for all this, Doctor.” He said to Bones when Kirk stopped to look in the window of a store that appeared to be selling different colours of glitter. “This entire day has been filled with illogical behaviour.”

“Would you rather I kept my medical opinions to myself?” Bones grumbled, feeling a wave of relief as Kirk moved away from that shop and over to another. Thankfully there was no glitter on their agenda today. However, the new shop wasn’t much better. This one had ridiculously garish looking pastries in the window. “Those were not part of my prescription.” Bones said, anxiously wondering exactly how unhealthy the brightly coloured cookies were. 

“It would be illogical to ingest something of that synthetic nature.” Spock agreed. “There is no nutritional value to such a meal.”

“Most of our food is synthetic.” Kirk laughed. “I’m buying them. Or rather, one of you is.” He breezed into the shop, his open shirt revealing everything as a breeze hit it. Bones exchanged a tired look with Spock as they followed their captain into the store.    
  


Bones and Spock left, significantly poorer and laden with more parcels. The day continued like this until they were both broke, and finally, Jim had agreed to beam back up to the ship. He wouldn’t even let them change before doing so, and instead had Scotty beam them up in their Risian clothes. Spock and Bones had slinked through the ship corridors, shamefaced and clutching Jim's shopping to their chests as they followed Jim to his quarters. He walked confidently ahead of them, smiling at his crew who stared back. Bones had never been more embarrassed. He had a feeling Spock had never been more embarrassed either, Human emotion or not.

Safely inside Jim’s room, they had set the items down on the bed and had stood idly by, watching as he rummaged about in the pile. Still distractingly shirtless. “Well done, Bones.” He said. “That was very enjoyable.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same.” Bones muttered.

“What?” Kirk said, spinning to face him. “You didn’t have fun?”

Bones didn’t really know what to say. He stared pleadingly at Spock, hoping the Vulcan would help him. 

“You asked for a vacation, Bones. I felt it was only proper that you experience one.” The captain's eyes were practically twinkling with mischief. “Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.”

Bones realized quite suddenly that Jim had known the whole time. It must have been fairly obvious that he had no desire to spend a day shopping on Risa. But he had asked for it, and Jim had made sure he got a taste of his own medicine.

“I’m going to kill Uhura.” Bones growled. “We’ll see what she thinks about a Risa vacation!”

“Oh, so it was Uhura who suggested it!” Jim laughed. “I’ll have to promote her for her genius.”

As Kirk turned back to the shopping, poking at the various parcels, Spock turned to Bones. “Doctor, we’ll have to devise a worse punishment than that.” He said softly. “I have had to spend the day in this,” he gestured to his outfit. 

“Or,” Kirk interrupted, turning to face them. “You could both stop scheming, and be grateful. If Uhura hadn’t tricked Bones into forcing shore leave upon us, we would never have been able to spend the day together.”

“Illogical,” Spock said. “We work together.”

“Yes, but I usually am dressed quite differently. You can’t pretend you didn’t enjoy this. Eh, Dr. Abs?”

For a moment, Bones through Spock might be choking. He took one last appreciative view of Kirk’s open shirt, and then dragged the Vulcan out of the room. “Get ahold of yourself.” He hissed as he pulled Spock through the hallway. “Go to your quarters, change, and then get some rest. Tomorrow we can figure out what to do about Uhura. Right now, we have to figure out where we can procure more of those shirts.”

Spock continued to make odd little strangled noises. But he didn’t seem to disagree. Whatever he thought about the day’s illogical events, the effect that the shirt had produced was nothing short of fascinating. 

THE END.

  
  



End file.
